Quality Time…
So… before dinner tonight… I was having some ‘quality time’ with my boys. I had been listening and then theorising and nattering with Luke and trying to help decipher some new anxieties that had returned home with him via a letter. Which I knew he had already read and tried to work out a little bit…unsuccessfully… and no wonder, although that’s another story…
But he was bored overthinking it now anyway and our topic had shifted so much that he was ready for some independent ‘chill time’ and as he successfully left…Harry enters swiftly with a new demand…I’m Hungry! (he doesn’t know what to eat)
It wasn’t quite ‘time’ for each of us yet.. so we negotiate and ask him to read to me a book of his choice but then one I haven’t heard in a while which will keep me nice and interested and alert so that I can make dinner afterwards…
He did choose a book about poo! And again that’s another story…
He sat in my big blue therapy chair and proceeded to talk me through a few bits and bobs first, that I guess could have distracted him if he didn’t chat about those ‘and get them out’ clear his mind a little… so we did…and he talked me through some of the pictures which led him on to thinking other related, for him, thoughts events that he wanted to tell me…so that then he could …read… and…..
Drumroll Please!…
…as he took his first breath to fill up with words… MY PHONE RANG…yep right on cue… (who’s cue)…so clearly I ignore it! Right?..
He reads…and I’m now refocusing… ignoring the VIBRATION elsewhere!
He distracts and decides to have another chatter about something that sparked his imagination somewhere… I listen… he returns…
I was so engaged in just how beautifully he read and dissected the words and really broke up those trickier words to make them more manageable…
In that it is so graceful watching someone break something down into more manageable pieces for success…isn’t it?
And knowing he’s listened and learned… how with constant support he’s still managing it and its enlightening…watching the steps… watching the progress…
The phone rings again…and again…I apologise… I limit the distraction and changes in vibration as much as possible…I control that.
I do also have an answer machine and a text service and other fancy modern day technology strategies so that a filter can be put into place…fortunately for everyone…
Otherwise where does quality time start and stop?
Where does every day pause and that quality time begin?
Unless you control that pause?
So how many does your control offend?
If you are in self care mode.. ‘quality time’ are you justified this?
Who are you answerable to that doesn’t allow or want this for you?
As I push away the external distractions more…he reads more confidently…I engage more… he engages more… our quality is at a more satisfying more rewarding deeper level…
Should we challenge this?
Or allow this and know that we when in any relations for yourself or with others … have the choice to fully engage and orientate with one at a time… to give your BEST You, and those around you benefit so much more greatly when you are all in it together… on the same page…
It helps it really does!
Be task focused with love and attention for the sole thing that you are doing and enjoy it…
We have answering machines for a reason.. for when we are unavailable right?
Some may have challenged earlier that well, come on she’s ‘ONLY’ sat listening to her son read … right? After he had waited to speak to me whilst I was engaged with his older brother issues since his return home…
So I could have just took the call.. right?
Or… isn’t showing that in those precious moments that nothing is more important that … you! … I do have another eye on things so I knew most additional were safe…
Oliver conked out on the sofa during editing one of my medicinal audio stories… and that’s again I am sure another story in itself…
Just being there for that special someone… just giving them the honour of you and them exclusively…
That respect of sharing time… when clearly and evidently it is truly precious…
So when its right on cue as we said earlier.. take it as a sign to know that these moments are precious and others can wait…
YOU and THEY are not constantly available!
Never feel you cannot satisfy yourself with this…
It is your right if you have a responsibility for yourself or to or for anyone else…
The book was good he was interested and animated… although he wasn’t quite as pushy for his original demand… which incidentally was food!
Harry chose the book not me
He has decided on dippy egg with soldiers for ‘tea’
Something light…slightly runny
Soft
Considering the connection about a book that started with a bird… and involved other animals laying round possibly egg shaped highly descriptive poos …
I would certainly say that in his unconscious choice of story he got to the answer of what he wanted to eat…
Off to feed now
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Much love S~J
