When the mind starts to overthink people can find it super difficult to stop it spinning… and can literally find themselves trapped in negative thoughts without a way to see themselves safely back again… wondering when these thoughts and feelings will ever subside.
Overthinking can happen at any time, however it does tend to happen when we have quiet or alone time… or when we are deep in conversation about the very subject we are overthinking…
Many say that these thoughts are difficult to stop and can prevent them from sleeping… many of my clients have reported that once in this cycle it is so very hard to find their way back.
It is one thing overthinking when you are trying to find a solution, working something out, or studying a particular something that requires your attention, sometimes it is the purpose to think things through. However when these thoughts are negative they can overwhelm and sabotage you and make life unpleasant if negative thoughts are plaguing you and trying to rule your mind, and behaviour.
When a client comes to me with this issue, it is important to remind them that actually they are in complete control of what they think and how they behave.
However they may have become so well practiced in letting their minds loose and run away with itself that they just simply need some retrieval techniques just like training a new puppy, for example.
The subconscious mind loves attention, so its wonderful to distract it…. Distracting your mind with positivity or help or of course a solution will immediately settle it, I say immediately as this can take some re focus and practice you have become somewhat out of the habit.
Baring in mind it can take around about a month to create or break a habit it may be worth understanding that use by changing one thing one time is unlikely to deliver you the results you deserve… so that chances are that if you have been an over thinker for some tome, perhaps some years, it may take a little while to retrain. However, no fear as its absolutely do-able!
And, once you step into a new system and new habit, seeing things from a slightly different perspective you will see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will easily be free of your overthinking patterns and negative behaviours.
You life will improve if this is where you have been holding yourself hostage.
When we look at the behaviours displayed from over thinking, if it’s negative and a stuck pattern, the chances are the body is feeling stress and tension. Therefore, any type of rest and relaxation, mediation id beneficial… then what I’d really want to do is disrupt the patterns with a different ‘talk’ and a different more positive and clearer language… with reassurance and grace.
When I have monitored and watched a person rise from the deepest darkest depths of their stress, anxiety and overthinking it truly is enlightening. The expressions on their face changes and softens, the eyes fill up with positivity and light again, we see that spark that becomes hidden, lost.
We see a human walk a different walk, dance a differ dance and sing to a different melody once they realise that they are back in control and are free.
Here are some simple hacks to re align you and get you moving in the right direction again.
1. Realisation
The first hack to get on the right tract is to realise that yes you are overthinking… As soon as you start this… stop! I know I know it can sound easier said than done but…it’s true! If you catch yourself in the act, stop. Notice that you are up to no good and that you can decide there’s a more efficient solution. As these stresses and emotions are coming on, be aware and hear that part of you say “I’m over thinking” and it rarely works or gets us any further forward.
2. Distraction
So, they arrive these thoughts feelings stressors and overwhelm. You feel it coming on and starting to build, now before it takes shape and grabs a hold of you, listen and then distract. You can choose to say at any time to yourself, I am overthinking and this isn’t the solution. Often we really do believe it is and we think that the answer is under this big pile of stress and strain that we keep on shovelling in… well my friends it’s not,. We usually find in clinic, or afterwards that the penny drops, no while you are deep in thought but whilst you are busy with another. When we distract yourselves, no necessarily fully or totally, but just from sitting there engaging in negativity. These distractions are much welcomed by own brain and subconscious and it gives brain time to re shuffle so that it can deliver you more of what you need. Remembering that subconscious will sabotage you if that’s what you have trained it over the years to do, so, if you stop, distract, you can begin this process of retaining, so that once the subconscious penny drops it will pop into your mind, when its ready, and the rest of the time you have been busy looking after something else requiring your attention, perhaps deserving your attention.
I’d be mad not to point out that distracting with happy thoughts couldn’t help, it most certainly will, but, I also know that many stuck in stress find it difficult to think of something happy, and can also find a happy thought and change it to a negative one, if they are well practiced. So, I like to say, do something or, sit and do a relaxation technique or listen to something that you find restful.
Meditation is wonderful because it allows us to clear the mind and refuse to handle any negative thoughts, by just asking them to wait. Dancing is another great way of getting into a different zone, but be super careful of the style of music you listen to as music is extremely suggestive and can exasperate happy and sad feelings depending on the style, I always remind clients to build their own playlist for these times rather than depending on the radio as that’s someone else version of happy at that time.
Playing an instrument or painting and drawing, even a game of cards can work wonders. Try it if you haven’t in a while.
As correction and also distraction I have an audio file that helps to re align thesis misguided thoughts and bring them back to centre and quiet.
3. Right not wrong
Another thing we tend to be guilty of doing in times over overwhelm and stress is to get emotional and one of the biggest emotions that likes to rule the show is fear. When we are driven by fear in these times it is likely that you start to think of all the things that can or could or has gone wrong.
Instead as these fear feelings come in, notice them and reframe to fight, and change that emotion to another, choose calm or happy and combat groups of thoughts, rather than each thought, with contracting but I’m happy because, or I can be calm even when …. Because….you may have to work super hard at this especially if you are well practiced in selection the fear vibe and address this emotion as needing to take a rest.
Fear is not usually needed as much as its thought….there are no tigers or bears regularly heading towards us where we must fear for our lives on a regular basis…take hold of this by realising this and remembering you are NOT a cave man/woman… you have evolved and there is a better more sophisticated level of programming that you can practice and play out instead.
Visualise and imagine all the parts of a situation that just COULD go right, spending more time own what CAN go right… if it went YOUR way rather than being consumed by the opposite… Remembering also that where we put our focus is what you often experience and receive.
4. Realisations and Predictions
Even though well yes, we can a little bit… we can’t truly know our future or what’s around the next corner, so next time you catch yourself making an absolute mountain out of a mole hill please remind yourself and realise that you just do not know it will turn out the way you are thinking right now, so give yourself a break and free yourself from your uncertain certainty. Often things do not turn out the way that we expect them to, and lots of our time can be wasted and lost, thinking a different thing. Stop, realise and predict that the only thing that’s happening is you are loosing yourself in time and the best thing to for is be kind to your mind. Spend some time here on things that give you pleasure and make you feel happy, staying present in your life and valuing what you do have.
5. Accept Yourself
One of the most important things that you can do is accept that you have done your best. Then once you have doe this you must move on. No human is the same, we are all unique and versions of everyone’s best is different. You must determine that you do give your best and give what is needed at these times, and when you realise that your purpose in life is not to do more than that, only to be satisfied with that is in fact enough. Realise that this fear of not being enough, or good enough is only a fear, and in these times only an emotion driven by the subconscious mind. Success often can depend on elements out of your control. So as long as you steady yourself and take positive steps forward clearing your head, accepting what your best and understanding fear isn’t reality it is only a simple emotion, you CAN distract, redirect and know you do what you can do…next move on from what you cannot control and eat. 6. Gratitude
The last area that I wanted to help remind you of is to be grateful. Noticing that you have things around you already that you can be grateful for. When we count our blessings we tell ourselves that life is better than we may be thinking right now. It is so easy to get lost and caught up in what we are chasing rather than pausing and realising what we already do have, right now. Take stock of what you are grateful for and your mind can re train into building on that rather than wobbling and feeling like you have nothing but this stress.
Overthinking happens to everyone at some time or other in their lives, it is just a question of whether you choose to adopt that behaviour as part of your blueprint or whether you are ready to choose a different more beneficial program to run in its place. When you clear out the unhappy and anxiousness you can replace with happy and calm and really enjoy life again.
Here is a guided mediation link I have written so that you are able to have a trusted resource, so that you can clearly take 22 minutes of you time, where you just observe… nothing needed from you or your subconscious mind other than to watch and digest so that you can see things from a difference perspective … stepping into your own self and your own sweet perfume. This guided mediation is far more than an affirmation, it is many, stacked ready to create the most beautiful hacks, to quieten the overthinking, to calm the stresses and anxieties for a while, to give yourself a brain break from decisions and expectations. The words that I say to subconscious are desired to give your subconscious a cuddle from the inside with grace and respect.
Let your mind be freed, clear your head, your space and your immediate reality.
Check out my guided waking trace mediation here, it will help you see from another level, grab yourself a glass of water, sit back and enjoy a different view. You can use this every time you feel you are cloudy with thoughts and watch how your minds eye clears.
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Enjoy!